Is over
Just a thought about going back to... ''studying''. KILLS ME.
I mean... All I want to do is dance, and have a good time.
And I cant. Need to go back where people poke me in the eyes ant tell me how much I sukk (not rlly, but I feel that way)
Seems like you just don't have enough confidence in ya. Shut the fuck up girl, you're cool. If you keep thinking that way, maybe you should just go to those people and ask em how they really feel about you. All you need is confidence, and no judging people on how they look. Just because people poked you before, doesn't mean they are gonna do it again, I mean, HELLO! It's NOT Artedi anymore.. Not Nordmaling.. Different people, a different school, yet you still can't fit it? Yes you can if you WANT to. You have to try, not let the magic come to you, it doesn't work that way. I still get pushed around since I NEVER say ''No, sorry, I'm too selfish to give this thing to you because I want it'' I have to share my candy, and food if someone asks to have it since I'm afraid to say no. But it's time to put our feet down, otherwise, my career as an actress won't happen, and your career as a.. doctor? Idk what you want to be again, but still.. you need to gather all the strength, courage and confidence in you to break the walls to your future, otherwise it won't happen. So stop being to negative about people! Because, that's a waste on your awesome energy, Keep the POSITIVE energy on YOURSELF. Say, YOU'RE AWESOME! Keep repeating that to yourself everyday near the mirror while wearing dirty clothes, no makeup, messed up hair and with a morning breath. Because, even then, you are awesome. Maybe I don't even have any more space in your life, and, I know pretty much everything without even talking to you for a while, ya can't hide things from me :3 but, you're life, willing to respect that... as tik issikisiu kai pamatysiu vel tave sakant kad ''you suck''. fuck no. Nobody is perfect. If somebody thinks that they are perfect, than they are the biggest loosers ever. That's all I gotta say.
SvaraRaderaI still love you even if we're falling apart. :3
/// Ieva.
Confidence is not my nr 1 characteristic. Lots of things happened during these years … here… You might forget everything and move on, but I can’t (:
SvaraRaderaI wish I could just forget everythin’ and everyone – like you did. Act like every single f’dn up $hi that happened, didn’t hurt me. But it did. I’m broken, beyond repair. With torn apart personality. Out of order kid, just a body and no mind. KAPUT.
However. I get what you are saying. I do. Your post is what I needed to hear/read, straight to my face. Everything that is missing is a painful kick in my butt.
It’s not ‘’Artedi’’ but, there still is fake people. I observed most of them from a side before making a move, and … They talk nasty stuff behind their best friends back… Friendship is not real in this place. Each person wants to survive high school without being an outcast, and then forget the whole deal. And what about me? No matter what, I will be what I always been – an angry Grinch, nagging about my life ;D
Unlike you, word – NO, is my motto. Sometimes even misused, by my tongue.
And as I said before, people don’t easily ‘’fall apart’’ if they are trying. ;3
Myself – don’t want to interact and somehow ruin your life. I quit trying when I realized that you pick some ‘’newbies’’ (people you’ve known a short time) over me.
It’s more of a personal message I guess, but since nobody really cares and don’t understands what Im talkin’ about.
Dejau batona ir post’inu. n.n’’
/// White Devil